|The Westray Wife - 5,000-year-old Barbie|
"Are you open this afternoon?" said Mr Damp Tourist, rather more abruptly than was strictly necessary, although our weather this summer has been enough to give anyone the hump.
"Yes we are, from two 'til five," said the pig farmer/morning duty person at the heritage centre, trying very hard not to take it personally.
"That's good. We'll go for a walk, have some lunch and then come back before we get the bus for the ferry," said Mrs D Tourist - clearly a woman with a plan.
And off they went in their brightly coloured anoraks and waterproofs, leaving me wondering if there was something wrong with my deodorant.
I've had a little part-time job this summer down at the island heritage centre. For three or four mornings a week, I help out doing everything from cleaning the toilets to burning CDs of Orkney dialect poetry. It also involves taking care of The Westray Wife (you may remember her from this), the 5,000-year-old-plus figurine found a couple of years ago up at Links of Noltland. I also take the money for Westray Wife keyrings, Westray Wife postcards, three different Westray Wife replicas and Westray Wife shortbread (really).
The job has been a real tonic. It gets me away from the "farm" for a while and I get to talk to real actual people as opposed to pigs, dogs and chickens. I'm also finding out all sorts of interesting stuff about the island. . . invite me round for tea, I'll be fascinating.
Is it the wellies. . . the ruddy complexion. . . the vague whiff of pigshed? I need to know.