A year or so ago one of the teams of archaeologists who swarm around Orkney during the summer uncovered something pretty special at the dig near Westray's golf course*.
A small - and I mean REALLY small, it's about three inches at most - figurine was found, clearly marked as a female. . . well I think those are boobs and the archaeologists seem to think so too.
There might even be a belly button.
Or something else.
Oh for heaven's sake, use your imagination.
Anyhoo - it's said by people much smarter than a pig farmer that what they call Orkney Venus and everyone in Westray calls The Westray Wife is 5,000 years old. That's several hundred years before Stonehenge.
Now this may not be important on a kind of end-world-hunger, wake-the-Lib-Dems-up, get-Wolves-out-of-relegation-trouble scale, but it's big news for archaeology buffs and has given a fair boost to the island's tourist economy with a considerable number of folk coming over to see the Wife at the Heritage Centre in Pierowall.
While sorting and bagging the last of this year's potato crop, a Westray crofter made a remarkable discovery (right).
I can reveal that it is almost 5,000 hours old, the seed having been planted in mid-May.
Extensive study, peeling and chipping has confirmed it is an accurate representation of a pig farmer. . . fat, very tasty and satisfying.
The official name is Orkney Potatohead, however locally it will be known as the Peedie Tattie-man o'Westray.
I am available for lecture tours and big, fat grants.
* Westray's golf course, long-time readers may remember, is the one with a 10ft deep bunker with a cow's skeleton in it.