Mrs Pig Farmer fixed me with a "what-the-bloody-hell's-he-on-about-now?" expression and said: "Come again?"
"Nobody says 'how do you do?' any more."
"You mean 'howdyado'?"
"No, the full 'how do you do?', preferably in the manner of a late 1940s British matinee, while raising a hat."
"You've got a hat."
"I don't think a grubby woollen hat counts. I was thinking more along the lines of a trilby. . . a tweedy one. . . who was it who wore one?. . . Harry Worth! I just think the world would be a better place if everyone said 'how do you do?' once in a while."
"Are you all right?"
"You mean, how am I doing?"
Radio 7 are rerunning an old Harry Worth series - sadly it hasn't aged well.