Saturday, 2 January 2010

Phone a friend

It was 9.33pm and the phone rang. The pig farmer muttered something along the lines of "who's this and don't they know I've just opened a beer?"

"Hi Malc, it's Corinne," said Corinne.

"Oh hello, how are you?" replied the pig farmer, trying to remember the last time Sal's niece had rung him and coming up with "never before".

"We're fine. Happy New Year."

"And the same to you. How's little Henry and is your Dad upright yet?" said the pig farmer, settling in for a chat.

"Henry's great and Dad'll be fine once we get him a milky drink and tuck him up in bed. Can you tell me the names of the Ramones?"

"You're in a quiz, right?"


"Johnny, Joey, Deedee and Tommy - although you could also have Marky, Richie, CJ* and Elvis," said the pig farmer, going for the irritating, know-it-all extra bit of information as they do on that loathsome Eggheads show.

That's the trouble with being educated at a very moderate private school. You come out ill-equipped to deal with life's real challenges, but you're a demon in a pub quiz. Still, if it means you can help out family members in their moment of need, fair enough.

* He was the one who didn't get where he is today without wearing leather jackets, sneakers and shouting "Gabba gabba hey!"


I, Like The View said...

you know there'll be a big demand for your number now, don't you

(could be a good side-line to the P-"F"ing!!)

Dave said...

I know nothing about modern popular culture.

Geoff said...

I thought they were Norman Wisdom, Johnny, Joey and Dee Dee.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

So Corrine was cheating and you helped her! It's not just "Eggheads" that's loathsome mate! No wonder you're a pigman!

Malc said...


There's a first time for everything.


Funny, I had you down as an X-factor man.


You're thinking of The Grimsdales.


No, not cheating. It seems there was one 'phone-a-friend' allowed.

smart said...

I still won the quiz ;-)

elizabethm said...

You know this sort of stuff? I am in awe. Do they do pub quizzes in Orkney?