Thursday, 10 September 2009

The revolution can wait. . . until after the post-match interviews

I have a dreadful confession. The pig "farmer" has sold out. My membership of the Tipton Young Communists' Afternoon Tea Dance Club has been withdrawn.

We've got SkyTV.

We've had all kinds of costly trouble with BT, so we flounced off, not being too sure where to flounce.

It was Mrs Pig "Farmer", who has a sensible job and therefore pays the regular household bills, who suggested Murdoch's evil empire, prompted no doubt by the almost daily mailshots which we have taken to using as loft insulation.

"You could have the sports channels," she said, half-seriously and very unwisely.

"What, really?" said the pig "farmer", the idea burrowing its way deep into his brain.

I was surprised how reasonable it all was, how helpful Rupert's stormtroopers were and at how little guilt I felt. Sorry, but there you go. Maybe I'm not so right-on and funky after all.

So it was that I found myself last night attempting to watch four football World Cup qualifiers and a one-day cricket international all at once. I felt like I'd played by the end of it.

Scotland did what they did best - gallant defeat - Northern Ireland's promise fizzled out good and proper, and Wales came a distant second to Vlad's boys, which leaves the rest of us having, for the next nine months, to listen to rednecks telling us how Eng-er-lund are going to win in South Africa.

Bet John Terry's blubbing come quarter-final day.


elizabethm said...

They didn't half play well though. I love the ferocious Italian. What a man, what suits!

Yorkshire Pudding said...

As well as selling out to that Aussie media mogul, have you turned into a Scot? Terry will not be blubbing, he'll be grinning as he raises the trophy above his head. Mark my words mate.

Ewen Nicolson said...

Can I come round to yours on a Monday night and watch the speedway? =D ;)

I know it'll be tears before teatime again for England in SA, but they do look very tasty as a side and I would encourage you to enjoy their progress.

Here's a wee secret Malc. I hate the Tartan Army and regard them as a bunch of half-witted wankers who think Braveheart was a Biopic. Doesn't stop me wanting Scotland to do the business. Yr right, the jingoism is a right pain in the rectum, but let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. ;)

I, Like The View said...

I hope Mrs P-"F" chose a channel for herself. . .


Lindsay said...

Sorry to have to tell you but we have had Sky since it's inception just for the sport. Playing a lot of sport ruined my knees but Sky has kept me sane during years of immobility - in order of preference Rugby, Cricket, Tennis. In case you are thinking, I did not participate in rugby or cricket but watched my son play for Harlequins under the leadership of Will Carling and watched the same son hit a six on the Cheltenham cricket ground over the road and through a window! Son is now a rugby coach at Blackheath. I managed to beat Virginia Wade - she went on to Wimbledon - I smashed my knee!!!

Arabella said...

You know you're keeping Bill O'Reilly in clean underpants?

Geoff said...

The Saturday night highlights are the best thing about Sky+.

John Terry, I spit when I say his name. I can't support a team that contains Terry, Lampard and Gerrard.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

GEOFF - You must be Scottish! Here, have a polystyrene tray with a few greasy chips and a mess of deep-fried haggis on it. Enjoy! You're only jealous cos England have made the finals in fine style.

zIggI said...

We have Sky just for the sport and I have it for House (sigh, swoon). I felt very sorry for Scotland and that goal was a goodie. Still I'm all for Ing Ger Land making it despite Lampard and Terry (I have a sneaky [secret]regard little Gerrard).

snailbeachshepherdess said...

hi Malc - I'm taking orders from all over for those books - I'll be at his talk nearby in Oct so will buy up the stock then and send them out!