Monday, 16 February 2009

Merlin's not having a wizard time

Listening to: Inside of Love (Nada Surf)

The snow's gone and the rain and mist have descended on the island and everyone's feeling just a little bit fed up.

Feddest up of the lot is Merlin the pony who's definitely missing a little magic. As it happens, he's nursing a broken heart - or whatever the equine equivalent is.

Jessika the Hung-g-garian horse has gone south to join Amy at her new job in Aberdeenshire and Merlin is sulking. Merlin is about the size of a large dog (a rottweiler perhaps), but nobody's ever thought to tell him.

No, when the boy looks in the mirror he sees the reincarnation of Alexander the Great's Bucephalus or maybe one of those nut-hard, shaggy jobs that Attila the Hun climbed aboard whenever he fancied putting the wind up the Roman Empire.

What everyone else sees is the shortest boy in the class, bustling around in a too-big coat with a "lookatmeI'mfantastic" air about him.

Jess is a leggy blonde, so it was hardly surprising Merlin adored her from the word go. What was far more surprising was that the feeling was, at least partly, mutual. It's fortunate Merlin would have needed a strong pulley system or a hoist to consummate the friendship. Two sets of step-ladders with a strong plank across perhaps.

Anyroadup. . . while Dotty, the easy-going Irish mare, and Teddy enjoy the peace and quiet in the absence of a pushy Eastern-European, Merlin is down in the dumps.

Cheering-up ideas to the usual address.


Arabella said...

Could Merlin's soul be soothed with music? 'Cause you could try singing to him.

Lindsay said...

An extra carrot or two? An hour's grooming to relax him?

Richard said...

It's hard isn't it. You need to get him a new toy. A donkey?

Betty said...

It would have only ended in tears anyway. Look at what happened to Bernie Ecclestone and that leggy Croatian broad.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

I think it is in awfully poor taste to refer to Mrs The Hun as a "nut hard shaggy job"! How would you like Mrs Pigfarmer to be referred to in such a rude manner! Disgraceful!

Donn Coppens said...

Perhaps in time
the sun may shine
upon stout Equine
with ego divine
who now must pine
for his Hungariine
whose rump sublime
he could not climb
but kept on tryin'
there's no denyin'
'tis a love benign
a terrible crime
now lost in time
in Merlin's mind

fiwa said...

Go Merlin - dream the impossible dream.

fiwa said...

Ok - I accidentaly clicked on the wheelchair beside word verification - and your blog started muttering at me! That was so weird! What is that thing supposed to do, I wonder? Click on it - I dare you.

Malc said...


So I'm in the middle of a field on a small Scottish island serenading a short-arsed pony. I think the neighbours talk about me enough as it is.


Just tried an apple and it seems to be working. He picked a fight with Teddy over the best bits.


Trouble is, Merlin's very much a ladies man.


I'd rather not look at Bernie Ecclestone so near to lunchtime.


I can't help but feel that's a compliment in Hunnish.


Seamus Heaney is having sleepless nights.


That's not muttering, that's subliminal messages telling you to go out and buy pork.

Gin said...

Merlin sounds like a typical male to me! He's just adorable.... er...ah...I mean ...he's so studly and macho!!