Wednesday, 28 January 2009

Would worm?

Listening to: Hancock

Removing the tired old ceiling from the back bedroom was going to be a delicate job - so the pig "farmer" hit it with a hammer. A very big hammer.

The dust took a minute or two to clear. Small pieces of wood and plaster were stuck in the pig "farmer's" hair (in desperate need of a cut). He looked like Hair Bear after an earthquake. And sawdust doesn't taste as nice as you might think.

Further exploration with hammers (lump and claw), a crowbar and a tightly-shut mouth revealed the full sorry state of the "roof" of the old part of the house. Let's face it this. . .


. . . doesn't look great. (Yes, that's corrugated cement/asbestos you can see).

Most of the dust that had dropped on the pig "farmer" was sawdust, left by a squad of very enthusiastic woodworm. What is the collective for woodworm, anyway? A lot of the wood looked like de-chocolated Crunchie. . .




I've seen the sorry state of the beams many times, but it still came as a bit of a shock to see them in broad daylight. Woodworm is endemic in Orkney and, like wasps, you can't help but wonder where they fit in the whole Mother Nature chain of command thingy.

I can only assume whoever was in charge of creation/evolution/big bangs had a fierce sense of humour - woodworm aren't even worms, for heaven's sake. Who's idea was that?

Anyhoo. . . I've tied all the loose bits up with baler twine which, as any fule kno, is absolutely indestructible and will keep the roof together for. . . ooh, ages and ages.

Or at least until a new roof is put up in the summer.

10 comments:

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Fingers crossed there will be no more big winds this winter or you might end up in a new version of "The Three Little Pigs"! Hold on tight dude!

Lindsay said...

Hope you were wearing a mask, - the word asbestos does not sound good.

I, Like The View said...

I hope you didn't breathe in any of that dust. . .

makes my blown-off gutter, damp ceilings and leaky shower seem not too overwhelming after all

!

here's hoping it all holds together until you're ready for the next stage of reconstruction

(-:

(evolution is very curious, isn't it)

susi said...

First rule of smallholding repair and maintenance - if you can't fix it with a six-inch nail, half a brick and/or a length of baler twine, it probably wasn't worth fixing in the first place.

Jessica at Bwlchyrhyd said...

According to Wikipedia, "a woodworm is not a specific species. It is the larval stage of certain wood-boring beetles..." And there follows lengthy list...

You have what my architect calls an agricultural-style roof! :)

elizabethm said...

Well if baler twine will hold up trousers, as used by my neighbours up the road, it is certainly up to holding up the roof.

Betty said...

What...no duct tape and WD-40? How can you possibly repair anything without these two essential items?? Good luck getting rid of the woodworm larvae thingies...yecch!

Gin said...

Be careful of the asbestos. Why can't projects ever just go the way we want them to? There always has to be a glitch or two, doesn't there?

Katherine said...

Well, that post pricked my conscience... I MUST MUST get a borer bomb under my house. SOON.

'As any fule kno' caught my eye -was it Ronald Searle? Did you read the same book I read, Molesworth?

mig said...

Good choice. The baler twine will be there long after the house, the island and indeed the whole of Great Britain have crumbled into dust.