Tuesday, 11 November 2008

Mrs Pig "Farmer" gets the ferry - part 43

Listening to: Saor (Afro Celt Sound System)

We arrived with ten minutes to spare. No panics, enough time to have a natter while we watched the ferry come in.

Except that the natter started like this:

"Did you give me the car keys?" (We keep our best car over in Kirkwall where Sal uses it for work while I chug around in a variety of MoT failures).

"Err. . . no. I thought you had them."

"You had the car on Friday to go and see that boar. Where did you leave the keys."

"Bugger. In my coat. Sorry."

I shoved Sal out of the door and, with 14 minutes before the ferry was due to leave, headed for home, caning the poor little Fiesta along the island's main road, battering the suspension up our lane and hurtling inside* (OK, I walked briskly - hurtling isn't really an option with my knees) where I retrieved keys.

Skidding back out onto the road, I narrowly missed wiping out Keith from the haulage firm and pulled up on the jetty as the ferry was pulling in.

Mrs P"F" was suitably impressed, but I can't begin to imagine what this stress is doing to my blood pressure.

* I got out of the car first - it wasn't some sort of a ram raid.


The Birdwatcher said...

Don't talk to me about keys!

Dave said...

I imagine the stress of this lifestyle must be killing. Sell up and move back to the city.

Sian said...

And did Sal say "Now if you hadn't been fussing about getting to the ferry EARLY I would have thought to ask about the keys before we left home?"........

I, like the view said...

I'm sure sian has an excellent point!

(I am allowed to use the ex's car [he sold the family estate when we split up and bought himself a soft top]; it's parked here, safely underground, in the posh parking that comes with his batchelor pad - but the usually keys are with him, at the house. . . I understand your tension [and I don't even have to contend with ferry timetables!])

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Is it possible to bugger in one's coat? (See your post) Orkney islanders have some peculiar sexual habits - often including pigs I believe.

Cathy said...

I take it you don't have radar guns in your part of the world:)
Take care

Malc said...


OK. Sorry if I touched on a sore point.


I know. I don't know how I cope with all this fresh air and sea views.


Actually, for about 20 seconds we had an apologising competition, both scrambling to take the blame. The irony is I hadn't rushed her - I'd been putting the bins out and feeding the pigs. She was in the car first.


Never sell an estate car - they're worth their weight in the straw bales you can get in the back. Mind you, in central London. . .


Oooer missus! Please note the all-important full stop.


The police rarely wander out to the island and, as soon as they are seen getting off the ferry, the word goes round and everyone is on best behaviour.

Sian said...

Then I apologise for assigning you both to stereotypical behaviour :-)