Thursday, 11 September 2008

Cool as a. . .

Listening to: Glasvegas (Glasvegas)
Weather: sunny and windy

It's 8.23am, the ferry is due in at 8.45 and Mrs Pig "Farmer" has a meeting in Kirkwall almost as soon as it arrives in town.

She's still in her jammies.

"Err. . . have you seen the time, sweetheart?" says the pig "farmer", trying to sound all nonchalant.

"Yep," says Sal, unfolding the ironing board and sounding not bothered in the slightest.

She's already mucked out Teddy, made toast and coffee, ignored my offer to make her sandwiches and made them herself and spent a good 20 minutes admiring the kitchen tap she bought in Kirkwall earlier in the week.

She irons her work clothes in 46 seconds, has what must be her third wash of the morning and changes.

She climbs into the passenger seat, looks at me as if to say "What?" and we turn out of the drive at 8.39.

Five minutes later we roll up at Rapness pier, the ferry is running a couple of minutes late and, with the choppy conditions, takes a while to dock.

"See! We made it - no problem."

"Yeah - right."


Richard said...

Don't you hate that? The trouble is, it just encourages them then when it all goes horribly wrong, you'll get the blame.

ziggi said...

and your point is?

I, like the view said...

I'm smirking and guffawing - and echo zigz completely and love the way richard refers to "them"

The Birdwatcher said...

It is a girl thing though. Mrs BW is always cutting things fine as far as times are concerned. She remains an Oasis of calm and tranquility whilst I pace about and look at my watch and generally get all hot and bothered.

I, like the view said...

women just know how long these things really take. . .

. . .it's like we know how to pack a bag of groceries efficiently, and how to get all the food in the fridge, and we can multi-task (do the laundry at the same time as cook the supper and help a child with homework and blog about L,TU&E)

I'm sure it comes from our hunter-gatherer heritage - all the XYs had to do was go kill the odd animal every now and again; the XXs had to child-rear feed and nurture (whilst probably being pregnant), forage, keep fires going, make protective layers out of skins. . .

I know I'm being a bit of a philistine here, but I'm still a cave-woman at heart - if that can be deemed a suitable excuse


Ginni Dee said...

It's a "woman thing".

Donnnnn said...

Richard is absolutely right had the ferry disembarked it would have been your bloody driving that screwed things up.

What are ya gonna do? 'They' seem to find some sort of spiritual meaning in the prep work..primping is somehow part of the event.

Getting ready is meaningless to men because the event doesn't begin until you are actually there.

KAZ said...

Only one word for that gal

Anonymous said...

Glad to see you're taking notes, Malc. ;-)

Malc said...


Yes, I hate it because I'm the one who gets wound up. To be fair to Sal, she wouldn't blame me if it went wrong.


. . . that Mrs P"F" is far more laid back and has life far more in perspective than yours truly.


Sal has just asked if we were separated at birth.


Hey! I can multi-task. I can watch rugby and drink beer at the same time.

So there!


Dead right.

Donnnnnnn (how many 'n's is it?)

You haven't seen me get ready for an afternoon watching rugby at the pub.


I think so too.


I always pay close attention.

lettuce said...

its just a matter of focus

time for tap admiration is a valid priority

ziggi said...

someone's pinched your dog!

mig bardsley said...

So you were, in fact, early for the ferry.
Earliness and lateness is all to do with relativity really.