Listening to: Glasvegas (Glasvegas)
Weather: sunny and windy
It's 8.23am, the ferry is due in at 8.45 and Mrs Pig "Farmer" has a meeting in Kirkwall almost as soon as it arrives in town.
She's still in her jammies.
"Err. . . have you seen the time, sweetheart?" says the pig "farmer", trying to sound all nonchalant.
"Yep," says Sal, unfolding the ironing board and sounding not bothered in the slightest.
She's already mucked out Teddy, made toast and coffee, ignored my offer to make her sandwiches and made them herself and spent a good 20 minutes admiring the kitchen tap she bought in Kirkwall earlier in the week.
She irons her work clothes in 46 seconds, has what must be her third wash of the morning and changes.
She climbs into the passenger seat, looks at me as if to say "What?" and we turn out of the drive at 8.39.
Five minutes later we roll up at Rapness pier, the ferry is running a couple of minutes late and, with the choppy conditions, takes a while to dock.
"See! We made it - no problem."
"Yeah - right."