Listening to: Seldom Seen Kid (Elbow)
The birthday girl chews thoughtfully and says: "Hang on, it's a faggot*."
We're in Martin Wishart's restaurant on Leith waterfront and on very best behaviour. The pig "farmer" has a new shirt on.
Dinner Chez Pig "Farmer" is generally something like this. . .
. . . so it's a bit of a culture shock to find ourselves in one of Edinburgh's finest restaurants.
We've booked in for lunch and expect the most basic of treatment - the menu is dead simple, two choices for each course, so we expect a light lunch with a glass or two of wine.
Having ordered they decide we need to be kept out of trouble and are presented with a dish of 'nibbles' including a curried cabbage tartlet (about the size of a 50p), a pumpkin mousse (very nice indeed), what appeared to be a Subbuteo** football stuffed with something mushroomy and what the waiter described as "a haggis bon-bon" (!).
I really like haggis, but Mrs P"F" has always shied away, so this is a first and, true to form, she says the first thing that comes into her head, quite loudly.
Resisting the urge to order curry sauce, we press on through another little extra (a foie gras creme brulee), game ravioli, a squid ink risotto, beef shin, celeriac mash, cod loin, chocolate beignets and ice cream. We have a cracking time that becomes more cracking the further down the pricey, but excellent bottle of Argentinian Viogner we progress.
I pay the bill without a tremor and we head off for pints of real ale, taking in a couple of 'sights' from the Rebus novels on the way.
Neither of us feel too good on the Aberdeen-Kirkwall ferry next day.
And the pig "farmer" got gravy (sorry - truffle jus) down his shirt.
* faggot = a sort of pig offal meatball, a speciality of the Black Country in the English Midlands. Usually served with peas.
** Subbuteo = a table football game, the name coming from the Latin name for a hobby - a bird of prey. Geddit?