Friday, 2 May 2008

The Levellers

Listening to: Blind Dog at St Dunstans (Caravan - geddit! Well, you will soon)
Weather: Bloody glorious, midges even, then very rainy for a bit and then glorious again.
Cider is: best taken in moderation
No: piglets yet (Sunday is my guess)

So here I am with Westray's answer to the Chuckle Brothers. A beautiful day has just given way to a really sharp shower that is going on so long that the Shower Evaluation Unit are about to upgrade it to Raining.

We're trying to get the caravan level.

It's not that easy.

I'm really glad I'm not doing it on my own.

There's one hell of a lot of 'to me, to you' going on. Every so often one of them (not sure which is Paul and which is Barry) disappears and reappears with some magic piece of kit which is going to make sure my father-in-law Ray can get to sleep at night without the blood running to his head.

I'm standing here like a spare part, smiling, holding and fetching things.

So far we've managed to bend one of the four legs the caravan stands on. Even I know that's not good.

Not only that. but we're running out of concrete blocks to prop the whole thing up.

With the help of a damn clever little jack thingy and some more 'to me to you'ing the ultimate law that is the spirit level is obeyed and Chez Ray is ready to rock.

Only snag is, we've managed to lift the one side of the caravan so far that the concrete step I made on Monday (damn fine it is too) is now too low for a 79-year-old communist to clamber aboard unaided.



Daphne said...

I've got an eighty-four-year-old one-legged communist father. I suppose he wouldn't be able to climb into the caravan either.

Richard said...

That was a cunning stunt, Malc.

I, still, ♥ the views said...

a smiling spare part is sometimes the best thing to be!


snailbeachshepherdess said...

here am i rushing in to welcome the piglets ....yawn....OK I'll go back to the lambing shed ...we've only got 3 left to produce now ....hell Malc we could finish first ...get the black and white chequered flag out ..lets see who gets there first!

Ginni Dee said...

So the vigil continues, eh? Well, at least you have things to do while you wait for piglets.

"Spare part..." I love the way you word things!

elizabethm said...

Yeah, like sbs (as funny in person as she is in the blog) I came for piglets. And was disappointed.
Perhaps you could contruct a ramp (for the caravan, not the piglets).

Reg Pither said...

Would this, perchance, be the same caravan you managed to get wedged under the barn door the moment you set foot on Devil's Island?
If you had a brain you'd be dangerous.
P.S. Am toying with the stupid idea of coming up to see you and chaps soon - get the straw matting down!

Malc said...


Actually Ray arrived yesterday and managed with the minimum of effort. We're entering him for the triple jump at Beijing now.


Ho ho! Actually, I always found Caravan too 'jazz' for my taste as a teenager in the 70s and that's not really changed.


It's something I've perfected over the years.


I reckon you'd be the hot favourite for that race. The ladies are getting closer, but it's a painfully slow process.


I've a list of a thousand things to do here.


I like the way you're thinking. I'll be getting the concrete mixer out later.


No, that caravan is now in the barn and acts as bedroom for meself and Sal.

You're visiting? I'll break out the Brian Clough memorial tea set.

Richard said...

Malc, I grew up in East Kent but I am about 5 years too young to have had intravenous Caravan, Soft Machine and Hatfield and the North pumped in. I did try at one stage when I was about 15 but I was far too interested in cricket and never actually bought a Steve Hillage album.

dinahmow said...

It's already Monday where I am! So...wot abaht them pigs, then?

Murph said...

Where's Rev East when you need him?

snailbeachshepherdess said...

obviously nothing happening ....nor me