Wednesday, 2 April 2008

The wurst is yet to come

Listening to: A Little Lost (Arthur Russell - thanks to Geoff and Betty*)
Pigwatch: Kim's making nests, Molly's like a beachball
Weather: drying up, spuds can go in soon

The sausage-making equipment had been sitting in the corner of the kitchen for nearly two weeks, gleaming in the sunlight, looking all German and efficient.

So I thought I'd better take it out for a spin.

Not having any pork of our own yet, I bought some - roughly two-thirds lean shoulder to a third belly. My first mistake.

I minced the meat, mixed in breadcrumbs with salt, pepper, a little brown sugar, a teaspoon of ginger, sage and bayleaf and packed it back in the tray ready to fill the sausage skins.

Removing the mincing plate, I fitted the sausage-nozzle-filler thingy and threaded on about four feet of sausage skin, remembering to put a knot in one end.

I pressed the button and nicely seasoned pink squidgy stuff went all over the place.

Not enough hands, obviously. One hand to hold Fritz the sausage machine, one hand to shove mixture down the chute and another to ease the skin off the filler-nozzle thingy.

Frau TPF had been watching proceedings from over the rim of a mug of Earl Grey and stepped in to help.

I took charge of switching on and off and sausagemeat shoving, while Sal expertly eased the skin off as the sausages. . . err. . . oh dear. . . stiffened.

With barely an 'ooh matron', we fed all the mixture into the skin and set about forming links. After a couple of false starts we (or more particularly Sal) got the hang of it, the result being this. . .

. . . I was pretty pleased.

Taste wasn't quite as impressive. The pork was fine, but I'd been way too cautious with the pepper and there wasn't enough fat - the belly having been a good deal leaner than I expected - and the sausage was too dry. I'll order some back fat next time.

Still, I bet Mr Walls didn't get it right first time.

* Geoff of Contains Mild Peril and Betty of the eponymous Utility Room put together a mixtape of some favourite/recommended tracks - try it over on CMP.


Ginni Dee said...

German's would be proud!

That looks like it would be great cooked in some sauer kraut!

Well done Malc and Mrs. Malc!

elizabethm said...

Oh but the picture is so good! That is exactly right. suspect seasoning and herbs are a good idea. bit of a herb fanatic here. How about lots of fresh sage and thyme, some sea salt (you must have local stuff up there?) and pepper.
Also loving your pig photos.

mig bardsley said...

I love a really peppery sausage myself :)
I started laughing when I read the title and haven't stopped yet...They look wonderful but Oh dear...I shan't be able to buy sausages for a while,without giggling.

fiwa said...

lol... that was a fabulous post!

And those sausages really do look good - a very impressive effort. Very professional, I'd say. And hey, you figured out where you went wrong and now you can correct it next time.

Take a bow, TPF and Mrs. TPF!


P.S. instead of the spare room, could I make a bed by the stove? ;)

Dave said...

Great title.

My Gp told me to cut back on meat yesterday, as it may be having an effect on my stones. 'What,' I wailed, 'No more sausages? Life won't be worth living.'

Jessica at Bwlchyrhyd said...

Yum -- I want one! :)

snailbeachshepherdess said...

Oh dear ..I ache from laughing ...lovely picture of the pigs ......and the sausages of course ...however did they manage before Fritz came on the scene....

Tattie Weasle said...

As they say these things can go off like a rocket - I swear it's one of God's many little jokes I beleive he has a very active sense of humour!

Inthemud said...

LOL :-) Well they look good anyway. No ones perfect first time! Keep trying!

Love photos of piglets

ziggi said...

they look delicious!

experimentation is all - and you could add all manner of lovely stuff - our village butcher does some great ones with apple, mango and stem ginger - yummy!

Brad said...

I'm quite impressed. Now I think I might want to add pigs to our menagerie. Just what I need more 'friends' that I won't eat.

lampworkbeader said...

How about mixing the pork with heather and treacle. Yummy!
Love the blog by the way....

LittleBrownDog said...

Goodness, I don't think Mr Walls got it right last time either - yours look far superior (ooh-er Missis!) Remember - Walls have ears. I found one in my ice-cream once. Found your blog courtesy of Snailbeachshepherdess, and very glad I did - v entertaining. I have fond memories of standing at the business end of a sausage machine when I worked on a pig farm in France in my dim-and-distant past (my other half uncharitably tells people I was a land-girl - I'm not quite that old). It's not as easy as it looks by any means.

Richard said...

It'll be like being on your own private "Generation Game".

nikkipolani said...

I don't care how those sausages tasted, I'm impressed you got them looking so good on your first try!

Zabigdog said...

How great would it be if your Mister Sausagemaker gets seasoned over time like a wine or whiskey barrel, up in that windy crazy salty place, and your sausage becomes a legend! Kind of like the sourdough bread in San Francisco!

Reg Pither said...

Looking at the photo, I suppose that's what you get when you leave your pigs in the middle of the road when they're out painting the white lines?

fathorse said...

ooooo, sausages. As someone who lives off 90% sausages and 10% tea, this post is a winner.

Come on, you HAVE to admit that whoever invented sausages had only one thing on his mind.


Why? What did you think I meant?

lettuce said...

wow - they look like, you know, REAL sausages!

Daphne said...

Oh yes, sausages, always good, and yours really look the part.

Malc said...


And a large glass of very cold German beer.


They really did look good, much better than they tasted really, but we'll get it right.


*Frankie Howerd impression* "Oh no, don't. . . oooh!"


Thank you, flowers to the stage door please.


Cut back, not cut out. Big difference.


When I get it right, I'll put some in the post.

Malc said...


Ve had means and vays of making sausage.


Hello there. Sense of humour? Of course. How else do you explain Alistair Darling?


Hello. The photos are all taken on my new phone. Quite surprised at how well they've come out.


Sounds exotic. I think we'll get the basic recipe right first - not sure Orkney is ready for mango and stem ginger.


Pigs are great animals to work with. Far more interesting than cattle or sheep.


Heather and treacle? Really? And thanks.


I've been telling Mrs Trainee Pig Farmer my sausage is far superior for years now. She remains unconvinced.


Nice to see you. . .


That's down to Sal. Can't take credit for the looks.


The Legend of the Westray Sausage. I like that.


Nobody ever parks next to my pigs.




I know. I was surprised too.


Again - thanks and I look forward to them tasting as good as they look.

I, still, ♥ the views said...

you'll be making ice-cream in the summer next. . .


(brown sugar in sausages! I never knew that. . .)

Malc said...

Ice cream would be great - and relatively simple - but it will have to wait until we have our own cow (year after next?).

The brown sugar caramelises in the pan and keeps the sausage together if it splits. And it adds to the taste.