Tuesday, 12 February 2008

Dream home

Listening to: Breaking The Rules (Walter Trout Band)
It's: bathtime

It's finished! It took far longer than I'd planned, but the pig shelter is complete and ready for the lads to move in at the weekend (want to make sure I have extra hands about the place).

With sea views to front and back, it's probably the best appointed pig shed in Britain. In London it would be worth at least £100,000.

Yes, it's a bloody eyesore, but our nearest neighbours are several fields away. After a shaky start to the building process, I'm pleased to say it's as solid as my mother's pastry. All it really needs is a bit of landscaping. I was toying with the idea of a lawn on the roof, but I may settle for some pallets stuffed with straw as a kind of thatch. If I have time I'll paint it as well.

I've added some more fencing and all the new paddock needs is a couple of pigs.

Tomorrow it's back to concrete and time to finish off the work in the large pig house. I've got the materials, thanks to Robbie from the island's haulage firm who made two trips at the end of last week. It was brewing up into a gale and he nearly got his tractor stuck in the mud at the back of the cattle byre, but he remained astonishingly cheerful throughout.


The Birdwatcher said...

It should get listed building status. I am in awe at your architectural and construction skills. I made a bird table once but it collapsed as soon as the first bird landed on it. I think there were casualties.

Reg Pither said...

More importantly, I heard on national wireless last week that people on the Orkneys are being urged to start locking their cars as there has been a dramatic increase in the number of car thefts over the last year.
Have you got a cheap car radio or some hubcaps you could flog me?

Brad said...

Looks a might better than our goat paddock - Job well done I say - How many oinkers ?

Dave said...

Is it available for holiday lets?

Ginni Dee said...

That's a darned good pig shed, to be sure!!

Your piggies will be sitting pretty in there when the wind blows and the cold is nipping at their little hoofies.

Malc said...


Nothing to it really. I just dumped the two frames in the ground and kept hammering bits on until it was cosy.
I do remember reading something about the Great Buxton Birdtable Disaster. Chilling stuff.


No, but there's a couple of secondhand satnavs.

Typical bloody "B"BC inflating a story. There have been 60 car thefts in seven years, 59 after the owners had left the keys in the ignition! Most cars were recovered undamaged. There have been four thefts since January 1 - so I suppose that is an increase.

Kirkwall is a city of 11,000 people - there's bound to be some crime. Jeez! bloody BBC urbanites couldn't find their bum cheeks with both hands let alone point to Orkney on a map.


Goat paddock? doesn't that need 6ft wire and 24hr dog patrols?


Tempted to move in myself.


Nice of you to say so.

KAZ said...

I'm a bit worried.
Will the lovely porkers be able to see the sea view when the door is closed?
If not - you need a window - it's only fair.

Virgin Porker said...

Oh yes. Very des res. I'm impressed to say the least. It's a bloody lot better than I could have done, put it that way. Then again, I am a girl....

Only kidding Malc - Eric & Ern'll love you loads for this.

VP x

Lord Tennisanyone said...

Is there a guest room for Arnold Ziffle?
(if you did not get to view Green Acres on the telly back in the 60s please ignore this comment and just read the next one..)

Rumour has it that the local Big Bad Wolf has developed quite an attachment to his Hookah and has subsequently abandoned terrorising the local porcine population.
He's too busy blowin' smoke to blow that masterpiece down.

I, still, like the views said...

no front door? oh well. . . knock knock anyhow!

Malc said...


No door, but I'll try to rig up some plastic to keep the worst of the draughts out. Or one of those bead curtains? Very 70s.
I suspect the lads will be outdoors most of the time.


Don't underestimate yourself. Eric and Ernie love me as long as the food keeps coming.

Your Lordship

No idea what you're on about.
Wolves were pretty big in England in the 1950s, but seem to have run out of puff these days.


Who's there?

mig bardsley said...

Those are some lucky pigs is all I can say. I just hope they appreciate the skill and craftsmanship and er, the other bits that went into it.
I thought heather was the thing to thatch with in the far North?

Arabella said...

Looks a bit like a place I once 'lived' in, in Galway. Only nicer. Lucky pigs.

Anonymous said...

I like the strong use of texture and depth to offset the monochromatic theme.

Hannah Velten said...

Yey! They'll love it...

Malc said...


Some islands have heather and moorland, but Westray is largely farmland, except for a bit on the west side of the island.


I've even got straw-stuffed panels in it for insulation. I'm pretty chuffed with myself.


Glad someone appreciates it. The lads and I are considering decorating in magnolia and other neutral colours - helps the resale value apparently.


They'd better - otherwise. . . hang on, what could be worse than what's going to happen to them.