Friday, 18 January 2008

Bucket love

Listening to: 20th Century Boy (T Rex)
Weather: wet, but warmer
Surf: Sadly, haven't given it a second thought lately
Birds: pair of Mute Swans with five signets at Swartmill Bay

There's a hiatus in the concrete laying thanks to a shortage of cement which gives my knee time to recover and everyone else has gone off to Stromness to meet my stepson who is staying for a few days.

I trundled over to the pigshed to, in the style of Wodehouse's Earl of Emsworth, commune with the pigs. Necessary duties having been done with brush, hose and shovel, we got back to the serious business of having a bit of fun.

We had a kick-about (if using your snout counts as a kick) with an old football The Boy found on the beach, there was a bit of ear and back-scratching and I decided to get back to the discipline that was such a spectacular failure the other day.

The Boy and I did have a go at leading them with the feed bucket yesterday and it was better than the board and stick method. We had moderate success, so I thought I'd have another go. I put a little barley in the bucket, clambered back in with the chaps who took a sudden and intense interest in proceedings. I walked at a steady pace around the pen and, sure enough, Ernie trotted after me snorting and squealing happily.

Eric didn't join in right away, but watched carefully for a couple of minutes before heading straight for me at some speed, catching me halfway up my calf, sending me tumbling into the wall, the bucket tipping the barley onto the floor, leaving the trainee pig farmer feeling both out-thought and out-muscled.

* Mrs TPF had another in a long line of Wolverhampton moments the other night. We were having a quiet glass or four in the hotel bar when, during a half-hour lull in the conversation, she picked up hotel proprietor's very smart brushed steel bottle opener and said:

"This is very smart, I could do with one like it." Then, having paused for thought, added: "It's quite heavy - good for hitting people with."



mig bardsley said...

Mrs TPF sounds like a woman after my own heart :)
It sounds like the pigs are training the farmer fairly effectively.

Anonymous said...

HAHA! Surrounded by violent pigs and wives! Watch your back malc :p

Dave said...

I am sure you are well aware of this, but extensive study of recent films teaches me that dead bodies can be fed to pigs, who leave no remains.

I trust you and Mrs TPF are on the best of terms.

Virgin Porker said...

Re Dave's comment, keep clear of that Palmers Cocoa Butter cream Malc - Edward & Tubbs really go for that stuff. I'm not calling you a big girl's blouse or anything, but I'm sure that after a hard day's graft, you need a little lotion on your skin....?!

ziggi said...

you are a brave man, pony kicked you yet?

Cherrypie said...

We've had 2 Wolverhampton moments round these parts this afternoon.

Palmers Cocoa Butter is very good for avoiding stretch marks.

Malc said...


You're not from those parts are you?


Insurance has been updated this week.


We get on just fine, despite the silly accent. It's like living with Noddy Holder sometimes.


You're saying I'm not a big girl's blouse? Thanks, although some of my hilarious friends may disagree.


No, but he's tried to bite me and he escaped the other night. We found him at midnight trying to get into the mares' field.


The lads have very few moments these days, so we should be grateful for Scunny's generosity.

When I started this blog I never thought I'd end up hosting a forum on moisturisers.

fiwa said...

It cracks me up that you will play football with crotch biting, run you down for food, pigs... and yet the HENS scare you! :)

Malc said...


Not half as scared as I am of Mrs TPF when she gets hold of a bottle opener.

mig bardsley said...

No Malc, sadly not. I just like the parctical approach to things :)