Thursday, 13 December 2007


Listening to: Rebel Rebel (David Bowie)
Sitting on: the world's biggest sofa
Sipping: PG Tips
Trying to remember: what presents I've still got to get
Weather: Bright and cold (proper winter)

I'm going to a leaving do tonight. I'm not certain it's a good idea.

The last one I went to was my own, 18 months ago. After several pints, I was enticed into Wolverhampton's premier vodka bar where myself and a certain Reg Pither played vodka snooker (red, yellow, red, green, red, brown and so on). Reg managed a 147 clearance, while I fell asleep in the curry. I was helped onto a train home and off by Mrs TPF. Oh, how she laughed.

I haven't been quite the same since.

So, the bad news is that my partner-in-crime for the evening is, once again, Mr Pither. I will be enforcing a 'no vodka' rule.

The subject of the leaving do, Dave, is a great guy and one of the last decent reporters left at my former place of work, so it's definitely worth the tram ride over to West Bromwich. Damage report tomorrow.

I got back to the West Midlands yesterday evening after a couple of days with The Boy in the south west. Christmas shopping in Exeter and surfing at Polzeath in the winter sunshine made for a pleasant trip, but it's good to have a few days off from the driving.

News from Westray is good. The cooker came to the house yesterday, but as there was only one bloke to deliver it and he couldn't manage to get it into the kitchen on his own, it went away again. It should be back today.

And Spike got out again (glad it's not just me), only to be outwitted by a very smart Mrs TPF. He went the long way round, behind the barn, while Sal jogged calmly round the short way, intercepting himself by the pig shed door, which she had shut as a precaution anyway.

I've a nasty feeling she's better at all this than I am.


Cherrypie said...

I have a very important question. What is a slang term for castrating a pig? What is a slang term for a pig about to be castrated? Would 'weaner' fit? I have a very good reason for asking.

I appreciate you may need to consult Mrs TPF for the answers.

fiwa said...

Oh come on, a little bit of vodka won't hurt! Glad you're having a good time.


Arabella said...

Wishing you and Pither a fine time.

ziggi said...

1. Have a good time out with RP! (I'm very worried about Padfoot - give him a hug to pass on to P from me (x))
2. What's nasty about feeling she's better than you? Surely words that come to mind should be 'naturally', 'what a relief', 'marvelously', 'gratefully' etc etc etc :-)
3. Tell Mrs TPF to have the local muscle lined up for when the redelivery of the cooker happens so they can't vanish with it again!
4. I need a pig to eat the acorns which are apparently toxic to horses but Freddie has just developed a taste for - can they live 'free range' so to speak?

5. I still think you should have him - he'll definitely keep Spike in check, can't you pick him up on the way passed? Himself would be very indebted to you!

I, like the view said...

aaaah! Polzeath

oooooh! vodka with the Pithy one

hope you both have/had a brill time

and are you really surprised about Mrs TPF's abilities? (remember that awful thing about there being no I in team?)

Malc said...


Errr. . . dunno, but I'll find out. Weaners are all pigs who have just left the sow. What on Earth could be your reason for asking. . . I'm so intrigued.


No, no, no. Vodka WILL hurt. Are you Pither's very much-more attractive and vastly more intelligent sister? There's a conspiracy afoot.


We're not going to the do after all. Just a trip to the world's best pub. Quite a relief actually.


Pad is struggling on, but the poor old lad is nowhere near his old self. He hasn't too long if you ask me.
Nasty is just a figure of speech. Sal is a remarkable woman. I know it.
The muscle turned up and we are just a converter thingy away from culinary heaven.
Tamworths are good in woodland and for acorns and stuff. Make sure your fencing is good. Electric is best. Mail me and I'll give you a list of books, courses, websites and so on.


Polzeath was wonderful. Few places can compare.
Pither is cooking steak pie now.
No, I'm not surprised by Sal's abilities at all.

The Birdwatcher said...

Vodka snooker why didn't we think of that. Can't wait to have a go at the rugby club on saturday!

Malc said...


It'll change the way you feel about washing-up liquid for the rest of your life.

Malc said...


A castrated pig is known as a barrow.
Reg says a pig about to be castrated should be called unlucky.

Anonymous said...

Good to se you're back in town. Hope Reg isn't too dissapointed with tserrof gnieb deggahs yb eht ythgim DER YMRA !!

Hope all is well and that your rash is clearing up? (damn pigs!!)

Regards - Gilbert

Anonymous said...

All I can say is: this is all irrelevant next to the greatness of a)your choice of music, b) your choice of beverage, and c) the size of your sofa. How big are we talking here exactly>????

Anonymous said...

Hug Reg for me. hey, I am with Fiwa on the vodka tip. Come on, just a little? But don't drive. ;)

The Birdwatcher said...

We already do washing up liquid :(-

Malc said...


Funny you should mention rashes.
Kind regards to the Red Army.


Think Ark Royal and you're getting somewhere near. Sofa in question belongs to my good friend Mr W. Reg's sofa, sadly, is a good deal smaller and size does matter.


Must I? And no, no, no never again. I mean it!


It helps the catfood down.

Cherrypie said...


You don't happen to know a slang term for the act of castrating a pig, do you?

There really is a genuine reason for my interest. It's important it is authentic.

Malc said...


I've never heard it called anything but castration and a quick Google wasn't much help. I'll ask Mrs TPF to look in my books tonight.

Err. . . what have you got in mind?

I, like the view said...

it's Friday - have some cinder toffee


natasha said...

hi,i too had a mad moment and moved my family to whalsay in shetland in feb 07.i'm having a great time,how about you?

Malc said...

Hi Natasha.

You almost caught me out there, commenting on a past post.

Whalsay? Cripes, that makes me a southern softy.

What are you doing there? I hope the Vikings are behaving themselves. Just put a notice in the window saying 'Rape and pillage by appointment only'. Seems to work for us.