Friday, 2 November 2007


Listening to: Just Fascination (Cabaret Voltaire)
Drinking: a well deserved coffee
Planning to drink: my own bodyweight in Dark Island

Oh, for crying out loud!

Mr D popped round for a cup of tea and a chat just before lunch and I was explaining the full Eric drama when Spike and Owen stirred from in front of the fire and started making a hell of a row.

Next thing I knew, a dozen scared-looking cows were peering in at the kitchen window.

"My goodness," I exclaimed (or words to that effect), hauling on my boots and hurrying outside where a red-faced neighbour was wheezing up the lane.

I went around the back, but got there too late to stop the cows wrecking hen run (the girls were inside fortunately). I shooed them back down the lane before going back to examine the damage.

The fence is going to take some fixing - the posts need to be hammered back in for a start and the netting is mangled. The weather is so foul today (it's not raining but you get soaked as soon as go outside the door) that the hens don't want to go out so I've shut them in, put the light on and given them an extra ration of pellets. I'll put the fence back up tomorrow.

Soon after the departure of the cows, I went to the shop to pick up the milk, The Orcadian and a couple of sausage rolls (it being Friday). I got back into Lennox and somehow managed to sit on the carton of milk. I got most of the milk out, but I have a feeling Lennox will be smelling of cheese for some time to come.

I wish I was making all this up.

On the up side, Eric continues to recover. I caught him sitting in his straw bed, looking a little sorry for himself. I dug up a couple of good sized bits of turf with nice, long grass and lobbed them into the shed and he was up and at them like a greyhound out of a trap, jostling Ernie out of the way in the process.
As you can see, he's doing OK. . .


Cherrypie said...

By some serendipitous coincidence the object of my desire is a farmer.

Hail, Malc, well met. I think we could be friends x

fiwa said...

Yow... that's a rough day! I'm glad Eric was not seriously injured in yesterday's tussle. That all definitely calls for drinking your weight in something. Cheers!

The Birdwatcher said...

He was probably looking sorry for himself because he had read your post about when he is being sent to the great pigsty in the sky. Clever and sensitive creatures pigs.

Malc said...


"Farmer" in my case is pushing it a bit. However, I always say there is no such thing as too many friends. Welcome aboard.


A pint of G&T, five bottles of Dark Island, three "nips" of Scapa malt - I'm flying!


Don't think the broadband extends to the pigshed. However, I may have it installed if the chaps show an interest. Quite fancy the Setanta soccer deal myself

Arabella said...

Cow riot?
Not Glenda Jackson dancing in a field again?

ziggi said...

happy fencing!
Why don't you get a girlie pig that you can breed from and then sell her unnamed babies?

ziggi said...

and, how can you not hold a chicken? (mind you one look at their feet and you just know they're descended from dinosaurs doncha?!)

Malc said...


I know. I've had a word, but she just can stop those dancing feet.


Sadly the chaps no longer have the required equipment (not my idea, I don't think it's necessary, but they were done before they got here).
Next year the plan is to buy in a couple of sows and start breeding either through AI or by hiring a boar. Once we are up to about six sows, keeping our own boar becomes cost-effective. Maybe that's when I'll really be able to call myself a farmer.

And the hens thing is a phobia I've had as long as I can remember. It doesn't make any sense at all, but almost everything about them (eggs and tikka masala apart) sends shivers down my spine.

Reg Pither said...

I realise "the news" reaches you about a year after it does us but, brace yourself, I've got some more bad tidings for you. "They" now reckon bacon causes cancer!! Seriously!!! If you were in a marching band you'd be playing the piano!

Malc said...

Yes. . . bit of a setback that one.

Arabella said...

Everything causes cancer, including picking your nose, singing in the key of b# and thinking bad thoughts when there's an 'r' in the month.
Fuck 'em all. Pass the bacon.

Puffincentral said...

Ta for yr comment, which, of course, led me to yr blog. Took several days, but have now finished reading all of it. I am impressed! Makes any of my sufferings look pretty small beer. I can now console myself that, if Mainland is driech, Westray is driecher. I used to keep chickens, so if you want any advice, don't hesitate...Mind you, I reckon you're doing just fine.

Anonymous said...

ah eric is such a good name - like the guy out of banana man... when eric eats a banana an amazing transformation occurs...

Good to hear you're keeping yourself occupied!

I, like the view said...

like the new avatar!

hope the fence mending went well and that you managed to enjoy the Friday sausage roll and *pinches nose shut* to the smell of sour milk and fingers crossed for little piggy trotter and hope youve got decent waterproofs for the change in weather

(I'm listening to Athlete and The Fray and James Blunt today - which is a little like a marmalade and marmite cheese toastie made with a soreen malt loaf dipped in Heinz cold tomato soup)(but have a book recommedation: The Tent by Margaret Atwood!)

I, like the view said...

you OK? lost your broadband connection? roof blown off? pigs taken the gund to you since they've learned about their ill-fated future (pigs might not fly, but they do read blogs you know) hope all is well