Monday, 22 October 2007

The weirdness continues

Listening to: Roadrunner (Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers)
Reading: Saturday's Independent

Regular readers (Mr and Mrs W) may remember me whingeing on last week about how I was managing to break just about everything, including Lennox the Land Rover Discovery (big, black, way past its best, but you wouldn't pick a fight).

Lennox had managed to be the first Land Rover in history to become totally passenger-proof when three of the five doors jammed solid, leaving only the driver and rear doors in use.

Well, ladies and gentlemen. . . pause for drum roll. . . may I introduce to you the world's first self-repairing Land Rover Discovery.

I had taken the dogs for their late-afternoon constitutional on the beach and loaded the chaps up to return to the croft when I slammed the rear door and something in the front passenger door went "clunker-chunk-bunk-schwunk-bang" and the locks on that door and the rear driver side door popped up. The window has slipped slightly and is now at a jaunty angle with a quarter-inch gap in one corner, but I'm really not going to let it worry me. What's a little wind noise, after all.

12 comments:

martin said...

I had the same thing with a range rover that I owned. As I live in Fulham,the insurance company wanted a top of the line alarm fitted. I had this done. From that day on,nothing worked properly. Doors would lock,brake failure lights would flash.It was a nightmare. And what made it worse was that the alarm guy swore blind that it was nothing to with him.......

Z said...

You really can't beat a 50s Morris Minor. If it won't start, you use the crank handle. If you lock yourself out, you use a bit of bent wire to open the door.

Z said...

(D'you notice how polite I was? I didn't say a word to Martin about living in Fulham and owning a range rover...)

Malc said...

It hadn't gone unnoticed.

Morris Minors are not much good at carrying a load of fence posts or pulling stock trailers.

And there's no point locking your car (I only do it by accident these days) because we have zero crime and if anyone off-island nicked it, you would just go down to wait for the next ferry.

Reg Pither said...

Why, oh why, oh why, oh why, did you buy a car off Arthur Mills in the first place?

The Birdwatcher said...

I leave my car unlocked. No one will ever steal it. It is after all the worlds most embarrassing car.

Malc said...

Reg

I know, I know, I know.

BW

Austin 1300? Renault 4? Got to be something good to top one of my cars.

lettuce said...

hi malc, i'm returning your visit and enjoying your blog a lot.

we were advised - by Clever Trevor, who knows what he's on about - that our dishwasher might self-repair if we slammed the door hard enough.

No joy yet, though we keep trying....

Malc said...

I keep hoping that, if I slam the front door hard enough, the house will repair itself. . . new roof, floors, doors, windows.

Wendz said...

It was a phase I went through. I am better now...........

martin said...

That last comment was from me. That's what comes of sharing a computer...

Z said...

Our dishwasher repair man advised hitting the inner side of the machine hard a few times. It works. Has done for the last two years.

Carrying fence posts? Isn't that what a wife is for?