Thursday, 27 September 2007

Nobody here but us chickens

Listening to: Sunflower (Paul Weller)
What's for tea?: Lamb's liver
Egg count: Five
Surf report: 4ft, clean
Nature notes: Lapwing and golden plovers in the top field
In the doghouse: Spike (buggered off again)

Mrs Wannabe Pig Farmer and Dangerous left on the ferry last night to go south, leaving me to my own devices for a couple of months.

First impression is that it's bloody quiet, but an absolutely beautiful day and the arrival of another egg from Fletch, Godber and the other hens has lifted my spirits. OK, so five in a week isn't exactly a lot and certainly not cost effective, but at least they are producing and breakfast is something to look forward to.

I'm going through a bit of an 'it came off in my hand'/'it was like that when I got here' phase.

The other day I was tidying up a pile of old creels (lobster pots) that were rotting away behind the pig shed when I heard a loud 'pop' and a gushing sound from inside Eric and Ernie's quarters. (Eric and Ernie are the pigs who are due to arrive in three weeks, don't know if I mentioned it before).

"That doesn't sound too good," I thought, picking up speed as I huffed around the corner of the shed. Sure enough it wasn't. The floor was awash, with water flooding out of a joint in the pipe that supplies the shed.

I grumbled my way back to the house, switched off the pump and went to investigate. A day or so earlier Eric and Dave had helped me put in a new cold water tank in the barn (when I say helped, they did the real work, while I held things, fetched things and made tea).

That meant the water pumped up from the well in the bottom field bypassed the concrete monolith/header tank in the top field and went straight into the new tank. Great except that meant a great increase in pressure on the 'branch line' into the pig shed - hence the burst joint.

Actually, I discovered that the joint seemed to have been plugged up with an old wine cork and some gaffer tape.

I fished out a connecter thingy, trimmed off the two ends of the pipe and put it together. Feeling a bit smug, I went to run myself a bath, preparing to break out the Lush bath creme. No bloody water!

Having put the toys carefully back in the pram, I climbed the ladder to find that the nice new tank was bone dry.

Back out to the pig shed and all that was needed was a diving board and a couple of sun loungers for Eric and Ernie to be in piggy poolside heaven. Water was gushing out of the new joint that I had been so proud off.

It's pretty depressing when you find you can't do even a simple job right, so I switched everything off again and went to bed a little smellier than usual.

Next morning Dave popped round, showed me where I'd gone wrong and we fitted nice new plastic joints and taps. The pigs will be so pleased, although it does ruin their hopes of gold in the synchronised swimming in Beijing next year.

I took the dogs to the beach for a little R and R and all was well until I tried to put the electric window in Lennox's passenger door up. It took an age and just before it was completely shut, something went clunk, kerdunk, chunk-a-dunk, plunk, bang.

Ok, I thought, at least it's mostly shut. Then I found the door was jammed completely. The rear passenger side door has been locked solid for some time, so I now possess the UK's only totally passenger-proof Land Rover.


smart said...

Malc, I love the picture, but I preferred your previous hairstyle.

Will we be surfing with pigs as well as seals the next time I'm up?

Malc said...

Let's go surfing now, everybody's learning how, c'mon and salami with me!