Monday, 24 September 2007
The frozen south
You've got to admit it, the quality of BBC comedy is higher than ever these days.
Here on Orkney, we are all just drying our eyes and holding our aching sides after the reports on the "news" from our favourite London-based broadcasting corporation that "extreme" weather conditions had caused "devastation" and "severe" damage to "scores" of houses in the Midlands and south-east England.
Winds of up to 60mph had been recorded! That posh weather girl's umbrella blew inside out! Sophie Rayworth got wet on her way to work!
Ooooooooooooh! Declare a state of national emergency.
I think I'm right in saying that a score is 20, so 'scores' probably means about 80. I'd say you got off pretty lightly.
And, yes, 60mph is pretty breezy - but, hey, if you don't want wildly unpredictable weather, sell your car, grow your own veg, stop taking flights for your holidays and start getting on the government's case to do similar and to put pressure on other countries to stop polluting.
In the meantime, put on a hat and a coat and toughen up, you wimps!
PS The weather presenter on the North Scotland news on ITV is called Gail.