Listening to: Liquidator (Harry J Allstars)
Twitching: Redshanks, oystercatchers, ringed plovers, hooded crows, black-backed gulls, curlews, eider ducks, knot, sanderlings, purple sandpipers, swifts.
No, nothing to do with pigs, hens, small islands off the north coast of Scotland, but my lifelong relationship with 11 blokes in old gold shirts.
Yep, here we go again, another great season gets under way and Wolverhampton Wanderers Football Club are doing what they do best - being a big disappointment.
Working as a sports reporter for many years helped take the edge off my passion for the men from Molineux and we became like an old married couple - Wolves busy in the kitchen, while I spent most of my time in the shed, if you see what I mean.
My move 600 miles away from Wolverhampton, along with a fresh regime at Molineux and the meregence of some bright young players last season has done a lot to rekindle my enthusiasm. Not enough to actually turn up to see them play, but I have been planning to do a lot of work on Ceefax and the net - anyway, I've got a cast-iron excuse for not going.
So I was delighted when my phone buzzed while I was digging the 'veg garden' and No. 1 offspring announced the chaps were 1-0 up. Premiership here we come? Nah! Wolves waited until the 87th minute to concede the equaliser and then handed Watford a penalty for a late winner. Sigh!
In an ever-changing world, it's comforting to know some things will always be the same. Well done, lads.
Oh yeah, Ireland's rugby players warmed up for the World Cup in style, losing to Scotland, to make it a terrific sporting weekend up here on Westray.